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Out To Pastor
As a child, I remember my parents saying to me, “I’m not going to tell you this again.” The only problem with that was they did tell me again. And again. And again.
Now that I’m an adult, I’m the one giving this last and final warning. And, of course, my children responded to it the same way I responded to my parents. I think it might be an inherited attitude.
However, I’m now in a different situation. I receive letters at least once a week, warning me that this is their last and final notice about my car or home warranty. If I had all the postage that accumulated over the years from these letters, I could retire in style.
Usually, I ignore these letters, except when they contain a prepaid postage envelope. I usually take those envelopes, put a track in them, seal the envelope, and then put it in the mailbox.
Over the last several years, a new level of inquiry has emerged. It is a wonderful invention by Alexander Graham Bell called the telephone. Every day, I receive a phone call warning me that this is their last and final warning concerning my expiring car warranty.
If only that were true. The trouble with these “stupid” phone calls is that there’s no real person on the other end. I don’t mean me; I mean their end. It’s all recorded, and how they do that is above my pay scale.
Then, beginning in December with the annual Medicare renewal time, I have some actual people call me.
The calls I like are those in which I’m asked personal questions.
“Do you have diabetes?”
I always respond to them, ‘No, I don’t have diabetes, but I am a very sweet guy.” Usually, when I say that on the other end of the phone, there’s an amazing “click.”
There are times when I answer using the voice of Daffy Duck. I’ve done this so often that I’m becoming quite skilled at it.
One question I enjoy is when people ask me how old I am. I usually respond, “I don’t know how old I am because my age changes every year and I don’t know what it’s going to change to this year.”
I can’t tell how many were so confused by my answer that they said nothing and just hung up on me.
Recently, I’ve been winning money from a PCH contest. I don’t recall signing up for this contest, but I was grateful to have won it. The one prize was $8.5 million and a brand-new Porsche. I couldn’t tell you how excited I was to win all of this. It certainly was my lucky day.
In processing this, all I had to do was send them $14,000 for the processing fee, and then I would receive all that money, along with the brand-new car.
It’s amazing how many people lie for a living. Thinking on this I was reminded what Solomon said, and he was spark on. “Lying lips are abomination to the Lord: but they that deal truly are his delight” (Proverbs 12:22).
Whenever a person lies it has a way of coming back to them. I remember my father use to say that if I didn’t lie I wouldn’t need a good memory. I have lived long enough to understand what he meant.
Dr. James L. Snyder lives in Ocala, FL with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Telephone 1-352-216-3025, e-mail jamessnyder51@ gmail.com, website www. jamessnyderministries.com
