My Two Cents
I’m realizing that lazy parents raise better kids, so I’m learning to be more of a lazy mom.
Wait, hear me out.
As a single mother for the majority of the time I’ve been a parent, I tried to overcompensate by doing as close to everything as possible for my boys. I’ve “babied” them. Well, no more.
I’m purposefully lazy now, and my kids are actually thriving because of it. My laziness is preparing my kids to not need me. And I personally believe that’s the greatest gift I can give them. My middle kid (now 20) binge watched cooking shows when he was a kid. He’d ask to help me make meals and I shooed him out of the kitchen. Partly because I was scared of him making more of a mess, and partly because I had convinced myself I’d be a “bad mom” if I didn’t slave over a hot stove in the kitchen. Well, a hectic work schedule had me in the kitchen less, and, it turned out my son is a phenomenal cook.
I, like most of us, had become an over-scheduled control freak, and we don’t allow the time necessary to let kids try, fail and then try again. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll do it- No, not like that; I’ll do it - Here let me do it because we’ve got to go” - I’m guilty of saying these to my kids, are you?
We’re too busy to be lazy. And, we are scared of being labeled a “lazy” mom - and guess what? We aren’t doing our kids any favors. Children who are treated like they are capable become capable.
And I want my boys to become capable men.
I’m learning that it takes patience and determination to be a lazy parent. Im loaded with determination, but I fall short in the patience department. In that regard, this perspective shift is helping me, too. I’ll admit I’ve given in to the “I’ll do it” a few times, but seeing the empowerment my “laziness” is giving my youngest boy helps keep me on my track of being a slacker mom.
I’ve not been in a position to have a lot of money as a parent, so I wanted to make life easy for my kids. But life isn’t easy, and trying to make life easy for them was wearing me out. We are actually setting our kids up for extremely hard lives when we don’t let them struggle and prove to themselves that they are capable of learning and doing.
Now, I am not toting myself to be a parenting guru.
But, all I can say is that I’m loving the pride and accomplishment I see in my kids when they clean the house, make a meal, cut the grass or fix something around the house.
As a result, the struggle is a little less real for me now, and, because of their newfound responsibilities, the struggle will be a little less real for them too.
“It is amazing how quickly the kids learn the operation of the DVD, yet are unable to understand the vacuum cleaner.” - Etienne Marchal